the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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