I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
