I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
third nipple confirmed
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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