the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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