tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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