Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Who died my cat blue again?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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