i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
