If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I forget how to act sober
Randomize