How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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