Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
