hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
