like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
