Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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