that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
