But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
