Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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