butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
