I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
