I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
