A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
