Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
