Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
