; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
