dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
