New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
