i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
