What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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