im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
