I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
