I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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