he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
