I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
i out mim tonsoeep
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
