apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
