Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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