remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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