you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
do nipples grow back?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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