so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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