I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
