I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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