How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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