ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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