Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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