y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
