he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
do herpes really smell.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
