Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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