is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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