There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize