the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
home. puking in laundry basket.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
