Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Is Oprah even human
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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