Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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