Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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