Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
