is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
