she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize