Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
