Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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