I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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