I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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