Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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