WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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