i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The feeling are messing with the penis
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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