I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
