I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
