Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
