doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
