Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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