I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
