she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She needs sedatives and a leash
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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